|
| I am good to go, but since there is still a bit of time left, I thought it would be good to digitize my thoughts.
I am booking in at 2030hrs; hence I still have got some time before leaving the house. The New Year came rather peacefully for me. I was in bed, deeply asleep. I booked out about noon yesterday and went to the family doctor right away, but they were already closed. Eitherhow, I went to the one next door. I suffering form a running nose and cough, basically all the signs of a flu.
You might ask why I did not see the MO. Other than the fact that I don trust them, the timing is not very right as well. So I started the New Year ill.
2007 was a pretty good year. Other than the disappointment in the Practical Navigation, the orals as well as being rejected for WSO, I have a rather peaceful year. 2008 would be good. It would be peaceful as well since I will be serving my NS. The good news is that (on paper) I have only 1 year left to ORD.
Three weeks into NS and for the first time, I feel home sick. Ie been sailing for a good year and I never had that feeling. Perhaps I should be more specific, it is not really homesick, but rather a desire to not be in Tekong.
I am not a very able person in terms of military stuff. I can say that I have got no problem in the foot and arms drills since I was from NCC, but in terms of all the physical training, I am pretty bad. Right now, I am very fearful of failing my IPPT as well as completing the SOC.
Kenneth called me the other day and said he was posted to SISPEC, then 2 days after the posting, he was transferred to some navy unit (sea monkey) he was saying that someone must have pull some strings. Ka Soon he suspected. I told him there would be no such things. Eitherhow, he warned me that I could expect the same for my posting. I don know, it is still a very long time for me. March my dear friends.
I am taking each day at a time. I just want to survive the next 2 days to book out for the long weekend. Oh happiness.
| | |
| http://finestgentlemensestablishment.blogspot.com/
| | |
| Just a quick one
I booked out last night at about 8.45pm. Got home, do my laundry, shower, fix the sling bag, ate something and went to bed.
Strangely, I could not sleep well. There must have been a lot in my mind or just the excitement of going home. I woke up at 4am, as usual as the days in camp, and found it hard to get back to bed.
The plan was to get up at 8 and go to beach road by 10am. Well, closed enough. I lay in bed till about 9.15 then proceed to fan dry my clothes and got ready to go to beach road. Either how, that just normal and nothing interesting to talk about.
My first day in camp was pretty much peaceful. The next 2 days were busy getting the items done and real physical training only came on the third day which was a Sunday.
My reflection for the past few days can be easily summed up:
1) Sleep is not enough.
Seven hours of rest (as they called it) is really not enough. I personally need 8 hours of sleep. In the army, they control how much you sleep. You wake up too early, they becomes upset. You cannot sleep too late. And you have too many things to be sleeping early.
2) They don serve coffee
They only serve coffee every alternated day. I cannot live without coffee. Days which I have coffee, I feel more alive. Other than that, I am sleepy all the while
3) Rush to wait, wait to rush
Most of the time, we are being hurried here and there. Then the remaining time, we spent waiting. I must say that we are still at the adjustment period. I am expecting more punishment after the 2 weeks. Which, will makes the half way mark of my PTP
Generally specking, so far, I am coping well to National Services. I always remind myself that I will take this chance to measure myself. I failed every single station in my IPPT CAT test. The only comfort I can get is that I might still be able to POP should I fail. Even so, I do not wish to attend any RT or whatsoever.
I got pretty depresses about the fact that I am the only one who failed every station. But I will keep trying. Please pray for me and wish me luck.
| | |
|
As the clock slowly counts down to the 13th of December, it becomes apparent that life has it ways in putting people into directions willingly or not. I was going through the papers and even the authority called this a liability. It therefore made me wonder if this is a form of social control. I would like to read that book Crime and Punishment some time soon.
Do not get me wrong. There is no use in resisting and fighting. I have got no intention in doing so as well. In fact, I see this as a form of holiday. A break, from all the disappointment that clouded my life for the past few months.
I had left home when I was 19. As much as I had denied it, it was pretty tough. This time, it feels the same, but different in it ways. The play field is different and the only positive point is that I get to be brain dead once more.
At the heights of my sailing days, I was at one with the movement of the vessel. It is a sheer state of being. It is like almost enlighten.
For the past few days, there has been a lot of attempts to make some sort of get together and what have you ?farewell gathering. Though it is in my name, I feel I am entertaining my parents more. More and more, I feel the calling and the need for my to fulfill Project Immortality. Like Into the Wild, my final showdown to kill the false me in within.
I would like to borrow from the movie these words, read somewhere that is it not important to be strong, but feel strong.?br>
Final Transmission
I once came across a book of final radio transmission of sinking vessels. They were beautifully drafted. I wish I had got that kind of talent. For this is my final transmission. Unlike the last time I left home, I was full of ambitions and vigor. This time round, it feels more like the death of the soul. For the first time, I feel empty and hollow.
Death commences in 5?4?3? 2?br>
| | |
| I was at my maternal grandparent place last week and I got a question that was a shock of my life. My step grandfather asked me when am I getting married. Well, I thought this type of question would only be asked when I am much older say?I don know, 30 years old? I beardy considered wenty something?(who am I kidding) and this?
I can understand. My step grandfather is very sick and is waiting to walk into the light. I presume when youe at this stage in life, you want to see something happy; Like a marriage. My cousin is a year older than me and is constantly engaged in relationships. He should be the first to get married.
Looking at my step grandfather, I feel very sad for him.
My Paternal grandmother was hospitalized two ago. I got the phone call from my aunt, and by the tone, I know its one of those. That being none of the life and death matters. I got out of the house at once to avoid all the negative energy. My paternal side of the family is very easily worked up people. The phone keeps ringing and everyone is trying to contact everyone and, well you get the idea.
We went to visit her last night and everyone was there. Here comes the thing, I really don understand why do my father needs to announce my doings and why do everyone has an opinion about my national services?
John was so banging that I was going to Commandos (which has turns into dust), Frad was pushing me to go to the air force (which they rejected me, very quickly I must add) I can understand the intention of Frad, who wants this shitty maritime job anyhow. He doesn say it, because of his position. But it has become a common understanding that needs no illustration.
JJ and Ivan are saying I will almost for sure be going to OCS and they got John to sing the song together. My relatives are putting their money on me going to the Navy.
Guess what, I don have an opinion whatsoever about anything. Lets not forgot the fact that it is beyond my power to plant myself anywhere, wee given up our rights in that department. On that note, all department. We are all suffering form the fake senses of power and choice.
I am very frustrated about the happenings. If everyone has so much in their mind, why isn the world already a better place?
| | |
|
